


Leslie the Elf

by Nutriyum_Addict



Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Elf, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Presents, Christmas Smut, F/M, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Holidays, Loss of Virginity, Santa Claus - Freeform, Singing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-26
Updated: 2015-12-20
Packaged: 2018-05-03 13:24:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5292656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nutriyum_Addict/pseuds/Nutriyum_Addict
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leslie is a human (that was raised by elves in the North Pole) who discovers her true origin and decides to leave the North Pole in search of a new life in Pawnee, Indiana.<br/>It's ridiculous! :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is basically a silly, fluffy holiday AU based on the movie, _Elf_. It's also kind of turned into Leslie's quest to get some. Oops. 
> 
> Thank you bookworm03 for laughing at my Christmas euphemisms and helping me brainstorm silly ideas for this! :)
> 
> Also, I decided Thanksgiving Day was long enough to wait to start posting this!
> 
> Follow me on tumblr for more fic [nutriyumaddict](http://nutriyumaddict.tumblr.com/)

The day that Leslie finally makes the decision to leave the North Pole, she sleeps better that night than she has in days--two whole hours. 

But before peacefully drifting off, she had laid out her green turtleneck and red jumper-style dress, the one with the Christmas tree patch she had designed and sewn on the chest herself. Her green and red tights were ready to go and her black, curly-toed boots were waiting by the door. Papa elf had even packed her a bag of oranges (well, okay, he also clumsily dropped some of them on the wood floor while trying to put them all in her satchel), and then they had sat together at their little table and sang the breakfast song before having eggs, bacon, and toast for dinner.

That night, Leslie had looked over her pro/con list once more, tucked it into her packed bag along with the oranges (as well as her emergency s'mores rations, a few cake slices for the journey...and her peppermint stick, of course), and plotted out her route in the dark of her familiar, but tiny bedroom. She was going to head out on a glacier and past the seven levels of the chocolate bark forest, past the sea of swirly-twirly gumdrops, and straight into Pawnee, Indiana.

Just last week after that mishap in the workshop, Santa had finally admitted that she was not an actual elf and that Leslie had been born in the Hoosier State. As she stared at him wide-eyed, (but with waves of _a-ha! moments_ crashing over her), she learned that she had crawled into his toy bag at the town's orphanage all those years ago. 

Leslie also found out that both her mother and father were dead, which made her very sad, but Santa also said that her father, Robert Knope, never knew about her and that he had later married Marlene Griggs before he was killed in a car crash in 1985. 

She wouldn't be truly alone in the human world, she'd have a stepmother. 

And also, Leslie had realized, just before drifting off, that she should probably stop thinking of it as _the human world_. It was just the world. A place where she wouldn't always be freakishly tall or the worst toymaker and baker around, or the girl that none of the male elves had any interest in--well, except for Sewage Joe, an elf that used to work in maintenance, but he was gross. And also, he got transferred to shoemaking last year after he emailed everyone in Santa's Workshop a photo of his... _candy cane_. 

So, tomorrow morning after thirty years at the North Pole, she'd be off. Leslie has a stepmother and a hometown (probably the best hometown in the whole world!, she thought excitedly), a bag full of oranges and five pros and only two cons on her list.

In Pawnee, maybe she would even find someone to kiss and eat cookie dough with and snuggle? 

She closed her eyes and smiled. Yep. She was ready.


	2. Leslie Meets Ann

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leslie meets Ann Perkins and starts her life in Pawnee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you so much for reading and commenting! :) 
> 
> Sorry the intro chapter was so short, but here is more than 2K of silliness!

Ann is just about to turn her key into the lock, go inside her house, and take a long nap after a rare early morning shift at the hospital (last time she volunteers to cover for anyone, she tells herself), when out of the corner of her eye, she sees a commotion by the snow-covered tree. A flash of red and green and blonde. And then a snarl. 

What the hell?

She has just enough time to make out a small woman moving towards a raccoon--wait. Is she trying to hug it? That's not a good idea. Ann tries to shout out a warning, but then the animal gets up on it's hind legs aggressively and charges the stranger.

"Oh my god," Ann just has time to blurt out, as she opens her front door quickly, reaches out to grab the woman heading in her direction, and pull her inside the house to safety. 

They both end up with their backs pressed against the closed door, breathing heavily. 

"What just happened? Were you trying to... _cuddle_ a raccoon?"

"Well, I was trying to give him a hug. We just met."

Ann gives the strange woman a look. A real look, finally. She's dressed like an...elf? Which is confusing and a bit odd, but Ann is also a nurse, so her medical training kicks in and she starts touching the woman's arms, rolling up her sleeves, and looking at her face carefully, trying to see if there are any bites or scratches. 

"Did he break any skin? Are you hurt?"

"I don't think so. I'm Leslie."   
   
"Ann. Are you sure you're okay? That was really not a good idea. Raccoons here are dangerous," she says, then reconsiders, "Well, they're dangerous everywhere, but especially in Pawnee."

"Oh, I'm fine. Just a little surprised. You're right, the raccoons here are very unfriendly. I mean, sure, they can be a little condescending at times, but that one was downright rude."

"You're dressed like an elf." And really, after living in Pawnee for the last five years, that's really not even he strangest thing that Ann has seen. Not at all. Not by a long shot.

"I am! Oh right, I guess I should probably find different clothes, but I've been traveling. I just got here. Do you have anything I could borrow? Do you want some cake?" The Elf-woman starts digging around in her bag and pulls out...a perfect looking slice of chocolate cake on a plate. It's covered in clear wrap, but Ann can see crushed little peppermint candies on top and it looks so delicious that all she can do is nod hungrily.

Ann kind of gives up on trying to understand this current situation and leads her visitor to the kitchen. All the while, she's also thinking that there must be something about her that attracts man-boy ex-boyfriends that play video games all day and sing in bands and grown women that try to hug raccoons and carry cake slices in their bags. She is a beacon calling out to...well, man-boys and elf-ladies.

"Do you have any whipped cream? It's even better that way, but if not, this is probably fine."

She opens the fridge and hands her visitor a can of whipped cream.

Leslie hugs her then, like just really launches herself at Ann and snuggles up close, as she says,  "I think we're going to be best friends."

* * * * * * *

Everyone knows that friendships forged by cake-sharing are the strongest and even her new friend Ann must be familiar with that old chestnut, because she's all smiles as she goes in to stab the last piece of cake with her fork. They're sitting at Ann's kitchen table and honestly, even though Leslie had wanted that last bite for herself, she let Ann have it.

She just puts her big fork down (the forks here were so wonderfully large and perfectly sized for her big hands!) and watches as Ann eats the last piece. But it's fine, because Ann is a beautiful, sparkly ornament that deserves the last mouthful of cake.

Really.

"Oh my god," Ann says finally, chewing with a blissful expression on her face. "That has got to be the world's best cake. What's in this?"

"Just the normal things--chocolate, butter, flour, eggs, elf magic," Leslie answers shrugging. "Whenever I bake, it's pretty good, but I mean, it's nothing like that."

Ann is staring at her and then she starts to giggle. "Wait. You're telling me an actual elf made this?"

Leslie nods. Yeah, she supposes, this cake would probably be kind of different if you weren't used to the baked goods in the North Pole.

"That was amazing and really intense. Wow...okay. I think I believe you about the elf stuff. Such a a weird day," Ann mutters, and then gently _boops_ Leslie on the nose with her licked-clean fork. And then giggles.

Oh no, did she accidentally get her new best friend tanked on elf magic?

"Are you okay?"

"I'm great!" Ann responds with a huge smile and Leslie relaxes just a little. "I was tired and grumpy from my shift at the hospital but now I have a tall elf lady in my house. And everything is wonderful!"

"Well, I'm not actually an elf. I was just adopted by an elf. I call him Papa Elf. He's a little klutzy but also kind-hearted. He packed me oranges for my trip."

Leslie smiles nostalgically at the thought of Papa Elf. She hopes he doesn't knock over too many things without her there to look after him. Of course, lately Leslie had also been noticing how Gayle, the elf from the house next door, had been looking at her adopted father the last few months. Maybe now without Leslie to focus on, he'd figure out that all Gayle's visits to the house to borrow a cup of sugar, were about more than just baking--even Leslie could figure that out, and she's horrible at figuring things like that out.

"Magic elf oranges?"

"Nope. Just regular ones."

"Hmmm," Ann shrugs disappointingly. "Okay, so you're not an actual elf, but you're from the North Pole?"

"Yes. But I was born right here in Pawnee. I decided to come back to my hometown and start a normal life. It was time."

It really was, Leslie thinks, still nodding, as much for herself as for Ann. In the last week of her travels, she'd kind of come to the conclusion that finding out about her true origin was a blessing in disguise. Besides, how much longer could she have spent in a place where she didn't fit in? Literally and figuratively.

"That's so inspiring," Ann continues. "And Pawnee is...well, it's an interesting place to live. I think you'll like it here. Oh my god! You know what we should do to celebrate your new life?"

"Build a life-sized yule log and then eat it for lunch?"

Ann blinks at her. "Um, no. I was thinking we could go sledding.'"

Leslie smiles at the suggestion. Well, that's good too. Sledding just happens to be one of her most favorite things to do after eating cake. "Is there a chocolate bark forest nearby?"

"No, but there's a Nipple Hill," Ann must notice her companion's confused expression, because she adds, "it's a giant hill behind Kernston's Rubber Nipple factory. We can start there and then sled through the empty lot behind my house! I think I even have an extra pair of snow pants you can borrow. Oh, and then a late lunch at JJ's. I know I just had some cake, but I'm already getting hungry again."

It's just as they're planning the day, that it hits her and for the first time and Leslie realizes, like really, really realizes, how lonely she was at the North Pole.

Sure, she stayed busy working on crafts and toy-making and baking, and she had the North Pole Goddesses (the outdoor adventure group that she had founded), but all the other elves always seemed to put her at a bit of a distance. But now, for the first time, Leslie feels like she's experiencing a real connection with someone. A true friend.

"Hey, are you okay?"

Wiping a stray tear from her cheek, she nods her head. Leslie can think about all of that later, right now, she's going to go sledding with her best friend. "I'm great. Let's go!"

* * * * * * *

After a fun afternoon sledding, a few mildly-competitive snowball fights, and even some snow angel-making, they do end up at JJ's, where Leslie can hardly believe that there aren't elves working in the kitchen, producing the golden and crispy waffles that she practically inhales. And the whipped cream at JJ's? Completely magical and full of dairy-cheer.

In fact, she thinks, these are literally the world's best waffles.

With a second serving in front of her, three tablespoons of sugar in her coffee, and a few packets of jelly from the table's little jelly carousel tucked up her sleeve for later, Leslie feels really good. She was already starting to feel right at home in Pawnee from the minute she sat down in Ann's big, comfy kitchen table chair, but this lunch at JJ's Diner just seals the deal.

When the plates have been cleared and they finally get back to Ann's house, Leslie borrows a pair of cozy flannel pajamas while her turtleneck and jumper are heading for the washing machine. Ann opens a bottle of wine, while Leslie gets the whipped cream back out of the fridge. Soon, the conversation turns to dating and sex, and Leslie spends more and more time studying the whipped cream can while Ann details some of her past encounters.

When Ann looks at her expectantly, Leslie manages to get out, "That all sounds fun. I definitely want to try that while I'm here."

"Which thing?"

"You know, everything you've been saying. All. Of. It," Leslie nods. "Well, except the edible underwear because that seems kind of...sticky?"

Ann makes a face and nods. "Right. Wait. Do you mean, oh. You've never..."

"Felt the heat of an aroused man between my open thighs? No. "

Ann's eye's widen. "Wow. Okay. That's--"

"Sorry. Too explicit? I've read a lot of Mrs. Claus's romance novels over the years. I mean, but no, no one has ever spiked my egg nog. Or stuffed my stocking. Or put tinsel on my tree," she sighs. "Santa was really the only other human male around and he was...married. And also, he's Santa Claus, so that would have been kind of weird. And I was always too big and tall for the elves. They were just not--"

"Buying what you were selling?"

Leslie shakes her head sadly. "Nope. Once, I thought I got asked out on a date, but when we got to the outdoor forest animal recital, it turns out he'd just wanted me to lift him up on my shoulders so he could see better. Oh, and one time this elf Mark invited me over to his cottage, but there was just a jar of molasses way back in his cabinet and he wanted me to get it for him."

"Oh, that's--"

"Well, I guess there was one elf that was interested," Leslie continues. "He worked in sanitation, but he was...definitely not my type," she pauses to make a face.

Ugh. It was an early morning on Christmas Eve, she'd sat down in front of her terminal to look at her elf-mails and there it was...close up and just...staring at her from her screen. She shudders at the memory. It still haunts her. Leslie shakes her head and does one more pull from the whipped cream can before continuing.

"Anyway, I was hoping that here, I could maybe meet someone nice to snuggle with. I mean, in that way. Naked snuggling. Of course, I want to do lots other things too. Like make the world a better place and oh, maybe solve a mystery on a train, but also the snuggling. Best friend snuggling is also wonderful," Leslie says, pulling the colorful afghan up and putting her head on Ann's shoulder. Then she whispers, "But I want a candy cane too."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Well, all the elves were dumb, because you're amazing. Oh! I know someone that..." her new friend trails off, smiling. "Yeah. Oh my god, he'd be so perfect for you. But...oh."

Leslie's head shoots up and off Ann's shoulder. "Oh? What _oh_? Why _oh_? Ann?"

"Well, um, we kind of hooked up once."

Leslie frowns, confused. "Hooked what?"

"Um...he put tinsel on my tree," Ann admits. "Is that weird?"

"I bet it was excellent," Leslie says enthusiastically, reaching forward to refill Ann's wine glass and then her own. 

"No, I mean, that I did that with him and now I'm trying to set you up with him for...that purpose."

"Oh," Leslie's brow crinkles, as she licks a little whipped cream from her lips and pulls the afghan back up around her. "Well, was he good at it?"

Ann giggles. "Yes. Really good. He put the tinsel in all the right places."

"I think it's okay. Besides, we'll be Eskimo sisters then."


	3. Leslie Meets Ben

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kudos and comments! You are all sparkly, twinkly holiday lights! :)

His morning so far is annoying, to say the least.

Ben's mom had woken him up with a text at five AM (who sends texts at five AM? Oh, right Julia Wyatt, that's who!) asking him to reconsider coming home to Partridge for Christmas, when he'd already gently told her at least a dozen times, that although he'd like to, he just wouldn't be able to make it this year. And that, he tells himself again, has absolutely nothing to do with the possibility of running into an old ex-girlfriend that he knows recently moved back home because of a text from his sister...thankfully sent at a _reasonable_ hour.

Or having people still throw garbage at him and call him Ice Clown (even though his short stint as mayor of his hometown was more than fifteen years ago).

To make this December thirteenth even more festive, Chris is out of town at a conference and Ben just knows that this is the day that every single one of Pawnee's crackpots and weirdos will try to come into the City Manager's office and attempt to talk to him, the Assistant City Manager, about something--how they got an infection from making sun tea from reclaimed water, directions on where to get a marriage license, or even the fairly standard complaint about potholes or an excess of used condoms floating in the Pawnee Reservoir.. _blech_.

Not even the coffee song could cheer him up this morning--mainly because his insane roommates had apparently tried to put the coffeemaker in the microwave last night.

When Ben finally does look up from computer screen, there's a woman staring back at him. An attractive, petite blonde woman dressed like...an elf? Okay, yeah, here it is. Weirdo number one, he thinks.

Regardless, Ben tries to put on a somewhat pleasant expression. "Hi. Um, can I help--"

"She's right. You are cute. You do look like you know where tinsel goes."

"What?" Ben makes a face.

"Nothing. I mean, hi! I'm Leslie!"

"Hi," he repeats, unable to keep a smile forming despite this unusual encounter. Typically, the members of the public who stick their head into his office start yelling at him for canceling or cutting the funding for something, so being called cute is a nice change of pace, even if it is a bit out of the ordinary.

"My best friend, Ann Perkins? She works down the hall in the health department part-time, I think you know her," the woman says, all while obviously trying not to giggle.

"Oh. Sure. Ann. Yeah. I know her."

"Right, so she said I should come here and you could help me out."

Ben quirks his head in confusion as the pretty blonde continues talking.

"I mean, volunteering or something. Yes. I'd like to volunteer. To help Pawnee. That's why I'm here at the City Manager's office. Yep. No other reason."

"Oh, well. I don't typically deal with that sort of thing, but I could, um probably get you started. What are you interested in?"

He watches as she quickly walks all the way into his office, sits down in his guest chair, and crosses her legs. Then she smiles and comments on how big and well-fitting the chair is and sure, that's a bit strange.

"I don't know. What are my choices?" She asks finally, tapping one curly toed boot quickly against the floor.

"There's, um, the animal shelter, education department, parks and recreation, and then, upstairs--"

Ben sees her eyes light up, as she interrupts him.

"Oh! Parks. I love parks. Do you mean like chocolate bark forests and swirly-twirly sea gumdrop parks?"

"Not really. I mean more like park-parks with benches and trails, and maybe picking up after people's dogs, and...I'm sorry, I just have to ask, are you dressed like an elf?"

"Yeah. It's my old outfit. From my old life. Ann offered to let me borrow some of her clothes today, but these just came out of the dryer this morning and they were just so warm and cozy that I had to put them back on."

"Sure," Ben nods. "That makes sense. Okay, well, if you think you are interested in volunteering, I can take you down to the Parks department to talk with someone there. They're um...a quirky group. I think you'll probably fit in."

He's honestly a little relieved that that's the department seems to appeal to her and that she didn't pick an office that was located up on the creepy fourth floor. He just can't picture her up there, in her cheery Christmas outfit and her sparkling blue eyes. In fact, Ben would feel a little bad about taking her up there, past the metal detectors and the sneers, and then leaving her all alone.

"Come on, I can show you," he says, starting to lead her out of his office and towards the Parks Department downstairs.

And he doesn't at all admire her shapely legs in her red and green tights or the way she smells like gingersnaps as they walk down the hallway together. Or how warm she is when her arm accidentally brushes against his. Nope. Not at all.

Oh wait, he super does.

* * * * * * *

Later in the day, Leslie is wandering the corridors of City Hall, her brand new volunteer badge displayed proudly around her neck. She's looking at the murals and reading the titles, trying to get to know her hometown a bit better. _Sunday Boxing. The Pawnee Zoo. The Trial of Chief Wamapo._

_Eating the Reverend_?

There's one mural in the council room that depicts a lady floating away on a frozen piece of ice, much like Leslie herself started her own journey to Pawnee. Except, as she reads through the plaque, she learns that Sarah Nelson Quindle wasn't off on a new adventure, but rather was being set to adrift on Lake Michigan to freeze to death for showing her elbows before noon.

Just when she's starting to feel a little uneasy about Pawnee's history, she comes across a mural up on the second floor. It's a field of wildflowers in yellows and golds and it's so beautiful. After thirty years of ice and snow and reds and greens, the golden hues of the wildflower scene makes Leslie feel all warm and sun-kissed. It's when she's sitting there, that she sees _him_ again in the hallway.

He's talking with someone and walking across the corridor, a sleek leather folio in his hand and god, that's sexy, he likes to stay organized. He also has the cutest butt she's ever seen. Like, she had no idea butts could be so cute.

Oh Ann, you devious bastard. He's perfect, Leslie decides. Even as the man makes a confused face and stares at his companion like the other had just said something completely and utterly ridiculous.

* * * * * * *

When Leslie gets back to the house later, after her full day as a Parks and Recreation department volunteer, it's all still just like she left it in the morning--all of her handmade paper snowflakes hanging down from the ceiling, the extra lights she put on Ann's tree, the second Christmas tree she put up and decorated herself, all while Ann had slept peacefully in her bed. Of course, Leslie hadn't been able to sleep, although Ann's couch was certainly comfortable, so she did what always makes her the happiest--she spread Christmas cheer. All over Ann's living room.

In the morning, her new roommate had seemed pretty surprised, but ultimately had said she liked it.

But now, as Leslie plugs in the lights on both trees, starts a CD of Christmas carols on the stereo, and heads to the kitchen to start making some sugar cookies, she takes some time to contemplate the other discovery she had made while walking around city hall today--Marlene Griggs-Knope's office right there on the second floor, on the opposite side of the building from the City Manager's office.

Leslie is still pondering this newest development when Ann gets home from the hospital and smiles when she sees the full effect of all the Christmas lights and decorations lighting up her living room in the early evening darkness.

"It still looks like Christmas exploded in here."

Leslie grins. "Thank you. I'm baking cookies. And also making spaghetti because I heard your feedback on the _needing to eat another food group besides sugar_ thing."

"That sounds good," Ann says, putting her bag down and starting to set the kitchen table. "So how did everything go today? Operation Candy Cane...what did you think?" Ann wiggles her eyebrows knowingly at Leslie.

"I like him," Leslie nods, a big smile on her face, as she stirs the sauce. "He's cute and a little grumpy, but--"

"What? No. Chris isn't grumpy...oh wait. Was he tall or shorter?"

"He was tall. I mean, compared to an elf, he was tall. And he had a perfect, juicy little butt just like a gumdrop. I almost reached out and touched it while he was walking me downstairs to the Parks department."

Ann ignores that confession and asks her, "Was he wearing plaid? A skinny tie? Did he have hair that was all sticking up?"

"Yes. Yes. And yes," Leslie says, nodding dreamily. "Hair that you could pull on and wiggle your fingers through while kissing his face parts. Sorry, did I say that out loud?"

Ann seems to ignore that too and instead tells her, "Oh, that's Ben. Ben Wyatt. He's the Assistant City Manager, that's not who I..." her friend trails off and studies Leslie. "Huh. You know, that might just work. Ben is kind of quiet, but he's a nice guy."

"He smells nice. He smells like a pine forest after the snow and his eyes are like really intense chocolate brownies. And did I mention the gumdrop caboose that I want to catch a ride on?"

"Yes. You did. Yeah, okay, this is even better than my idea. You and Chris would probably be...way too something. It would be like an overload of positivity and cheer. But you and Ben. I like it," Ann pauses as she picks up a wooden spoon and tastes the pasta sauce and makes a face. "Hey, did you put sugar in here?"

"Just a little," Leslie confesses with a nod, deciding not to mention that in addition to a couple of tablespoons of sugar, she also stirred in a little container of grape jelly. "And I like me and Ben too. Now Ann, how do I get his pants off?"

Her friend waits a beat, while grabbing some silverware out of the drawer and then says, "Ask him to show you his penis."


	4. Leslie Meets Marlene

The school lunch budget for next year is still not quite what she wants it to be, so she's trying to figure out how to fix that, when Marlene can feel someone staring at her. So, she looks up and gets ready to possibly give the intruder a glare, depending on who it is, when she sees...a grown woman in a Santa-style hat.

Well, the woman is also wearing a black pencil skirt, red and green tights, and a sweater with a reindeer on it. To complete the look, the blonde stranger has on a pair of black boots with curly toes. She's also holding a small, desk-top Christmas tree with tiny little ornaments and a big red bow.

Well. This should be interesting.

"Hello?"

"Hi. You're Marlene?"

"I certainly hope so, because I'm sitting in her office." When there's no response, she adds, "do you want to actually come in? Just standing in the doorway is creepy."

The odd holiday-themed woman walks in all the way and takes a seat and there's something about her that seems strangely familiar.

"Sorry. I choose in. Hi."

"Hi again," Marlene repeats, more amused than anything else. "Do you need help with some--"

"I'm nervous, sorry," the small blonde says, smiling. "Okay. This is going to sound weird but you were married to Robert Knope, right?"

Marlene frowns slightly at the question and nods her head.

"I'm his daughter. Well, from a year before he even met you. He never knew about me," the odd woman adds quickly before continuing. "San--well, I have it on good authority that it's the truth. And my mother, she never told him before she died. I was in an orphanage, but now both of my parents are gone. And, well, there's more, but that part might sound kind of strange, so I might wait to tell you the rest. Anyway, this all kind of makes you my stepmother and so...here. I brought you a Christmas tree."

"Okay." Because, really what else can Marlene possibly say to all of that.

"I'm Leslie."

There it is again, Marlene thinks. It's something about the way woman cocks her head and smiles. Really smiles with her whole face--her whole being. Like she's so excited and anxious to get you on her side, that it just takes over her whole body. It's an infectious trait and Marlene has only known one other person who had it--a lovable goofball of a man that could talk her into anything and make her heart fill with joy as he did it.

She watches as the small woman stands up and delicately places the tree that she had been holding in her lap, on the corner of her desk.

"I'd like to come back tomorrow and say hi. I promise...no lurking in the doorway. Maybe I can bring you some cookies. Do you like rum balls?"

"Yes," Marlene responds, still not quite sure what to make of all of this. Plus, she really does like rum balls. They're delicious.

"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow then."

The realization comes to her a few minutes later, as she's trying to get back into her budget reports after that odd intrusion. That woman. Leslie? She definitely had Robert's bright blue eyes.

* * * * * * *

The next couple of days go quickly for Leslie. She takes on a lot of small projects in the Parks department, mainly filing, making copies, and filling up binders with ideas for new parks. One afternoon she borrows a couple of wooden desk drawers and whittles them into a two rocking horses. Ron, the Director of the Parks department is suitably impressed and she gets invited into his office for a glass of scotch.

When she tells him she was raised by elves, in answer to his question about how she learned to do that, he simple responds with a slight nod and a fairly uninterested, "okay."

She invents _salgar_ , much to Ann's dismay.

Also, during those first few days, if Leslie needs a quick pick-me-up while at City Hall, she goes out to the shoeshine stand and gets Andy to play Christmas carols on his guitar and they sing. Except sometimes he forgets the words and makes up his own...that can get interesting.

Their version of _The Twelve Days of Christmas_ involves eight bears a growlin' and five marshmallows flyin'.

It's on a Wednesday, when Leslie is sitting on the bench under her favorite mural one afternoon, reading a book when she sees someone stopping in front of her. When she looks up from the dark shoes and tan pants, it's him. Ben.

"Oh, hi!"

"Hey. So, you're uh, still volunteering?"

"Yep," she uses a bookmark to hold her place and proudly holds her badge out for him to see. "In the Parks department."

"Good," Ben says and then takes a seat next to her. "I'm glad. You seemed very enthusiastic."

"Well, parks are important. Did you know that 15% of the annual parks department budget in Pawnee goes towards trail maintenance? And 25% goes towards rangers for animal control...mostly because of the raccoon population?"

Ben grins at her. "I did actually know that. And you're reading..." he looks down at the bench and reads the title, " _The Girls of Atomic City: The Untold Story of the Women Who helped Win World War II_."

"I am."

He nods towards the book. "That's some light lunch-time reading."

Leslie can't help smiling back and oh my god, she thinks. Is this flirting? It feels like flirting and...it feels wonderful and fun. Especially since Ben seems just as into it as she is.

"It's an interesting book," Leslie responds eagerly. "There's just so much to discover. I was kind of shielded from a lot of....well, never mind. I'm just trying to learn about history and politics and botany and birdwatching and French and well, anything and everything. Now that I live here...I mean in Indiana. Do you want to borrow it when I'm done?"

Ben seems to consider this. "Sure. Thanks."

He's still kind of smiling at her and god, it's making her stomach flip and buzz with energy. How is he doing that? It it magic? And also, he wants to read her book about awesome ladies in history? That's so... _mmmmmhmm_.

"So, you, um, retired the elf outfit."

Leslie glances down. She's in one of Ann's skirts again, this time with a striped blouse and a dark red blazer that she bought at a store yesterday. Well, but she's also wearing her red and white hat and her boots because it's cold out and that's just sensible.

"I'm just changing it up a little."

"But you're still wearing the hat," he smiles at her. "It's cute. Um, I mean--"

"Thank you," Leslie beams at the compliment. "It's very warm and festive. I could make you one."

"Oh, no. That's okay. I just, I'm not quite sure that I, um, have a hat-face."

"I bet you do. I really like your face. I mean, here...you should try it on," she says quickly, taking the hat off and holding it out to him.

"Really?"

"Yeah," she insists, a quick shiver running through her as their fingers touch briefly.

Leslie watches as he pulls her hat down over his head. And then Ben gives her a silly grin but says, " _ho ho ho_ ," in a too deep, all-wrong-for-his-face voice. Plus, without his hair all sticking up and tall, he just doesn't look like himself.

Leslie's eyes widen and she's horrified in a completely unexpected way. Flirting and sexy thoughts definitely do not mix with the object of her affection imitating Santa Claus.

"No. Failed experiment," she tells him. "Take it off!"

His eyes widen in surprise as he quickly tries to take the hat off and hand it back to her, looking a bit flustered. "Sorry, I--"

"No. No, that's okay, I just...sorry. That was me. Sorry. You just looked like someone I know and..." she pauses and smiles at his appearance, the hat now on the bench beside them. "Your hair got all messed up."

"Oh," Ben starts to reach a hand up but Leslie stops him.

"Let me."

His thick, dark hair feels as good in her fingers as she thought it would and Ben doesn't stop grinning at her all the while she's running her fingers though it. He even slides a little closer to her so she can use both hands to push it all back up and like it should look.

Ben also keeps a smile on his face when Councilman Howser walks by and frowns disapprovingly as Leslie fights the urge to giggle nervously.

She decides not to mention to Ben that she'd met the Councilman yesterday when she had walked in on him, in one of the giant whiz palaces in City Hall. She'd been following behind Ron trying to discuss one of her park ideas and had accidentally seen Councilman Howser's candy cane in the process.

It was not elf-sized.

* * * * * * *

"I'm just going to come right out and tell you something," Leslie says with little introduction, the next afternoon as she and Ben are sitting on their bench (she's already started to think of it as _their bench_ ), under the wildflower mural.

He'd surprised her by stopping by the Parks department with a couple of burgers from the cafeteria and they'd decided to take lunch upstairs. As they talk and eat, the halls are mostly deserted around them, a lot of staffers probably scheduling their holiday time off to include this week before Christmas.

"Okay," he responds, before taking another bite.

She should just say this, right? Just put it all out there? Yes. She should. Leslie takes a breath.

"I'm from the North Pole and I'm not an actual elf but I was raised by elves. Robert Knope was my dad and Marlene Griggs-Knope is my stepmother. I crawled into Santa's toy bag at the Pawnee Orphanage thirty years ago and that's how I ended up at the North Pole."

Ben stares at her briefly, like he kind of forgot that he was eating and then finally, he swallows before asking, "What? I'm sorry, I thought you said--"

"I did. I said everything you thought you heard and also I like you and and your butt and maybe we could go out to dinner sometime?"

He looks...confused. "You're from the North Pole and you want to go out to dinner? With me? And my butt?"

"Yes," Leslie nods, then quickly adds, "Don't worry, I'll borrow clothes from Ann. Are you okay? Are you freaking out? Was it too soon to tell you?" He looks like he's freaking out about this.

She watches as Ben wipes his hands on his napkin and then puts the take-out plate beside him on the bench. "I'm not…um, okay. Just to be clear, when you say elves you mean Christmas elves and not, say, _Lord of the Rings_ elves, right?"

"Christmas elves, yes. The _Lord of the Rings_ is a fiction book Ben, it's not real. And here, have some salgar," she says, reaching over and grabbing a small jar with a big red bow tied around it from her bag.

"Thanks," he's smiling now, looking a bit less taken aback as he takes the gift from her. "And you're in Pawnee--"

"Because it's my real hometown. I headed out on a glacier and past the seven levels of the chocolate bark forest and the sea of swirly-twirly gumdrops and arrived in Pawnee. That's why I have an elf outfit."

"And salgar is...?"

"A mix of salt and sugar. It's amazing on butterscotch pudding, popcorn, strawberry margaritas, and spaghetti." It makes pasta taste like Fruit Loops. Delicious!

"Alright," Ben makes a bit of a face, the salgar still in his hands. He's rubbing his thumb back and forth along the lid and it's hard for Leslie to look anywhere else. He's got such nice fingers.

"And Marlene Griggs-Knope is your stepmother?" Ben asks, clearly still trying to work everything out. Although, she is fairly surprised that _that's_ the detail he seems stuck on. "The Marlene Griggs-Knope from the Wamapoke County school department? The one they call--"

"Yes," she confirms, interrupting him before he can even finish his sentence.

"Good luck with that," Ben tells her, still looking a little perplexed, but thankfully not too disturbed by her North Pole origins confession.

If anything, he looks more flustered by the mention of her stepmother.

And maybe a bit puzzled by the salgar--Ann doesn't get it either. Leslie watches as he carefully unscrews the lid and sniffs it tentatively, like a curious, inquisitive narwhal.

Leslie smiles as she absentmindedly slides her hand into her pocket and touches the edge of the photograph in there, the one Marlene had just given her that morning. It's of Robert Knope at the Pawnee Harvest Festival in 1980, looking at the camera from the base of a Ferris wheel, a huge smile on her father's kind face.

"Oh, I don't know," Leslie says finally, in response to Ben's wish of good luck with Marlene, "she seems nice to me."


	5. Leslie the Fucking Elf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello beautiful, magnificent antelopes!
> 
> This is the last of the sort of 'setting things up' chapters...and then stuff really starts happening! Thank you so much for reading and commenting so far!!
> 
> And even though this is a WiP, I super pinky-promise, that it will be completed before Christmas!

After their lunch, Leslie is more excited than ever to make progress on _Operation Candy Cane_.

Judging by the way he had grinned and slid closer to her when she'd fixed his hair, Ben obviously likes her too. So, really they need to move this whole thing along.

Right.

Because to be honest, ever since she ran her fingers through his hair, she can't stop thinking about running her fingers other places. Or Ben putting his fingers places...like right in her _gingerbread house_.

That evening, as she's all comfy on Ann's couch, Leslie formulates a number of different ideas in her head for their first date--she could plan out a detailed scavenger hunt that finally leads Ben to the location of their meeting (still to be decided). Or, start wooing him by leaving him gifts each morning based on the _Twelve Days of Christmas_ (of course, she's already a little late starting on that one and Leslie has no idea where she can find ten _Lords a Leaping_ this late in the game), and also she doesn't want to wait twelve days before going out with him.

Also? Ann tells her that that one might be a little too enthusiastic...and weird.

So, Leslie is leafing through a magazine for more ideas when an ad catches her eye--"For Someone Special" it says at the top and then shows a buxom woman wearing a very revealing negligee.

"What about this?" Leslie asks, holding the glossy ad out to her friend. "I wear it, right?" She's like 99.9% sure she's the one that would wear it. Although, Ben would probably look pretty cute in it as well.

Ann makes a face. "Yeah. But...maybe that's more like third date material?"

Leslie nods and folds the corner of the ad down. Ann is so smart about these kind of things.

"Why don't you just go out for pizza?" Except for coming up with first date ideas, Leslie thinks.

" _Annnnnnn_. That's not special. It needs to be special. It's our first date. Pizza is...a second date? A thirty-fourth date? I'm going to go make sugar cookies while you think up something perfect."

* * * * * * *

The next afternoon, when she walks into Ben's office, Leslie is armed with not only a plate of colorfully decorated reindeer sugar cookies and sleeves full of emergency strawberry jelly packets, but also the most amazing and perfect plan for their first date. She'd seen the flyer in JJ's window earlier at breakfast and had been giddy ever since.

His back is to her and he's riffling through some file folders on the credenza, all while being a vision in a blue plaid shirt and dark grey pants. On his desk is a stack of papers, the first has a post-it on it that says "ICETOWN" in all caps. But, before she can ponder what that means (it sounds cute, though), she taps him quickly on the shoulder.

"Hi, Ben!"

She hadn't meant to scare him, but he jumps just like a sexy kangaroo and hits the cabinet with his head. When he turns around, Ben still looks a bit startled, but gives her a warm smile. "Hey."

"So," she starts, moving closer and setting the plate of cookies on his desk. "These are for you and also, I've heard there's a Winter Festival tomorrow and I was wondering if you'd like to--"

The smile disappears and Ben frowns slightly at her words. "Oh, um, about that. That's not happening. It got cancelled last month. Sorry. You must have seen an old flyer or something. But, I'm sure we can find something else--"

"Cancelled? What do you mean?"

What is he talking about? She just learned about it a few hours ago--Pawnee Winter Festival in Ramsett Park. December 20-21, 4PM - 10PM. He continues to stare at her, but then grabs the ICETOWN papers off his desk and holds them in his hand without even looking at them.

"Yeah. We had to, um, make the tough decision last month to cancel this year's festival. Budget cuts and--"

"How can there not be a Winter Festival? It said right there on the sign that there would be music and games and an ice skating rink under the moonlight. With all of the complaints you have been getting about this, how can you still say it's cancelled?"

"Well," and now Ben is looking at her like he's trying to be patient, even though he's getting slightly annoyed. _He's getting annoyed?_ "You are actually the first person to complain about this and--"

"What? How can--"

"Seriously, Leslie. You are the first. I've heard complaints about pretty much every other issue except this one. And I'm really sorry, but there just isn't money to do that this year. We have a lot of services that are essential and a holiday celebration isn't…well, you know, actually _essential_."

She puts her hands on her hips. "No, Ben. No I don't know. Not essential? Holiday cheer? Not important? I'm sorry, but I have no idea what you're talking about...and also, there are very loud Christmas carols playing in my head right now so I'm not sure I'm even hearing you correctly."

Ben sighs, his voice softening considerably and lowering just a bit. "I know this is probably important to you, I get that, you know, with your, um, unique situation and all but, there are more important services that we need to provide. Street maintenance, garbage pick-up, school lunch programs. Diabetes awareness classes. And while the Winter Festival would be nice, it's just not a priority for Pawnee right now."

"But we could--"

"What? What could we do? I'm trying to make a difference here and I can't do that if I approve programs that are just colossal wastes of the budget," he tells her heatedly.

She actually gasps at his words. "Well, you can't just cancel a Winter Festival, Ben! People need an ice skating rink and--"

Ben rolls his eyes and then his expression turns almost sad, as he tells her, "No they don't. Trust me, people do not need an ice skating rink. I mean, you think that's going to be a popular attraction and the next thing you know, the whole town is bankrupt, unemployment is at 30%, and people are calling you names," he sighs and then shakes his head. "Look, I know you're from the land of candy cane swamps and Christmas cookie mountains, but--"

"Chocolate bark forests and the sea of swirly-twirly gumdrops," she corrects icily.

"Alright. But, this isn't the North Pole. This is Pawnee, Indiana and it's a real city and we have a real budget shortfall and we can't blow real money on tinsel and tree lightings and other decorations just because it's chilly out. Spreading holiday cheer has no place in government."

They stare at each other for a few seconds. Ben blinks and is about to say something when she beats him to it. "Do you know what happens to people without any Christmas cheer?" Leslie doesn't wait for Ben to answer, before she tells him, "Not very nice things. One word-- _Krampus_. Uh-huh. I said it. Yeah. Do you really want to be on the naughty list now?"

"Alright. I have no idea what a Krampus is but I--"

"You're a jerk. I can't believe I wanted to…" Leslie trails off and shakes her head.

"What?" Ben asks softly, looking confused and sexy again...but that's just too bad. How could she want to do _that_ with someone who doesn't think a winter celebration is important?

"It doesn't matter. My thighs are closed," she says, walking away in a huff. "Good day, sir."

"Wait? What? I don't....know what that means."

She's halfway down the hall when she realizes she left the plate of cookies in his office. Crap on a advent calendar. He certainly doesn't deserve cookies after that! But also, there's no way she's going back in there. Not now.

Not when Ben has pretty much assured his place on the naughty list.

* * * * * * *

On the way back to Ann's house, her fight with Ben makes Leslie question everything about her new life as the bitterly cold wind practically freezes the tears on her face. Maybe Pawnee isn't where she belongs? She just can't change the previous thirty years of her life to not care about Christmas cheer and celebrations.

Perhaps she should just hop on a glacier and leave town like a frozen, heartbroken elf. They must have Christmas spirit somewhere. Maybe Finland?

Or Belize?

As she trudges down Sullivan Street, Leslie runs through her original pro/con list again, this time reversing the order--Con: she'll miss Papa Elf, Con: she'll miss the elfin baked goods and the year-round Christmas cheer, Pro: she'll finally fit in somewhere, Pro: she'll find someone to snuggle with, Pro: she'll learn about her parents, Pro: she'll make real friends, Pro: she'll make a difference.

New con: she'll fall for someone without any Christmas spirit and her hometown won't care about Christmas anyway because everything is a complete disaster and a horrible pit of reindeer droppings.

She kicks off her boots in a disappointed huff just inside the door and gets ready to pout. And pack her bags...but, when she looks around, the house is all warm and welcoming.

Leslie plugs in the lights on Ann's two Christmas trees and starts to feel a bit better. A few verses of _Jingle Bells_ while snacking on a handful of celery sticks dipped in grape jelly lifts her spirit even more (and _even_ more when she forgoes the celery completely), as she looks out the kitchen window and stares at the empty lot in back of Ann's house.

How can her hometown be the type of place that cancels a holiday celebration? And how can Ben Wyatt be the kind of man that just sits back and lets that happen? It's like her brain is refusing to acknowledge these two facts. Maybe if she just flat-out refuses to believe them, they won't be true? She closes her eyes tightly and tightens her back up and makes a screeching noise that she hopes will undo the last two hours of her life and....nope.

Still all true.

Leslie sighs and eats a cookie from the leftover stack of broken reindeer ones--the ones that have a missing leg or an antler as her eyes again focus on the empty space near Ann's house again.

Empty just like Pawnee's Christmas spirit. Empty like Ben's...wait a minute.

A big empty lot...that would be perfect for a Winter Festival!

Sure, it might not be as flashy as a an official city celebration, but she could make it special and also remind Pawnee about holiday spirit. And just like that, Leslie's makes up her mind--she knows what she'll be doing for the next twenty hours.

Of course, it'll be a lot of hard work. Decorating Ann's house or even the Parks Department's conference room were both small projects and this is definitely a much bigger undertaking. There needs to be an ice skating rink and a stage for music and holiday cookies and millions of twinkling little lights. Oh! And a giant Christmas tree! Maybe even life-sized gingerbread men and lady cookies that everyone can snack on when they need a break from the skating and the singing and the holiday frolicking.

Working through the logistics in her mind, for the briefest of moments, Leslie almost feels overwhelmed. But then she realizes, maybe she doesn't have to do it alone? She's got friends now that could help her with the hard work. Ann, that perfect, talented snowflake would pitch in. So would April, if Leslie promised to tell her a few more _accidents in Santa's workshop_ stories. Ron could help her build the stage and the rink, and Andy would definitely pitch in, and possibly Donna and Tom too.

Of course, not Ben though. Leslie decides to stick a very festive pin in that disappointment for the moment. She'll deal with that mess later.

Because right now, she has important work to do.

But before she sends up the holiday signal for help and puts together a binder of plans for the new and improved Winter Festival, Leslie changes back into her elf outfit because she doesn't want to wear borrowed clothes from Ann to try and fit in tonight. No, tonight, she wants to shout her origins from the rooftops! Sing it loud and clear! _The best way to spread Christmas Cheer, is singing loud for all to hear._

And Christmas cheer is one thing she knows how to spread. She's Leslie the fucking Elf, after all.


	6. Operation Candy Cane (Part I)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! This chapter kept growing so I decided to break it up into two parts.

At around two in the afternoon, Leslie is checking the skating rink for optimal smoothness one more time--a task mainly consisting of sliding along its slick surface in a pair of warm wool socks, giggling as she goes.

That is, until not paying attention, she slides right into something warm and solid standing on the edge of the rink. Something warm and solid that smells like a comforting pine forest and reaches out to catch her with his strong arms and look at her with his terrible, sexy, apologetic face.

"Well," she says, trying to sound all aloof, as she moves back and out of his warm arms so she doesn't get distracted. "If it isn't _naughty_ Ben Wyatt."

He makes a face. "Is that really what you're calling me now?"

She nods and gives him her best angry stare, before moving to the side, bending down, and putting her pointy boots back on. At one point she starts to lose her balance, but there he is, with his stupid big hand on her hip, keeping her from falling over. Jerk.

Ben waits for her to come back up and then he sighs. "Alright. I probably deserve that. I'm sorry. I get...cranky this time of year sometimes," he gives her a small smile. "But, I can see that you've created your own Winter Festival on the Sullivan Street lot."

"Yes. And we even got permits 345R, 123F, and 24B signed and stamped from Ethel Beavers in the city permit office this morning, so don't even think about trying to shut this down."

"I'm not...I'm not going to try and shut it down, Leslie. I..." he trails off, looking sad again before he continues. "In fact, you also need permit 6A because of the stage and when I heard about what you were doing, I got it approved for you. It's been filed officially with the other permits. So, you're all good."

"You approved a permit for me? And filed it officially?"

"Yes. I want to help. I just..." he sighs. "Sometimes this time of year bums me out. I...I used to be mayor of my hometown in Partridge, Minnesota. When I was eighteen and--"

"You were a mayor?" she asks excitedly, moving just a bit closer. "In Partridge? Were there pear trees? That's so amazing!"

Ben laughs softly. "Well, not really, it was _not_ amazing. And no pear trees. Being mayor actually kind of ruined my life. I mean, that time after I won the election, around the holidays? I had so many plans and so many ideas on how to make a difference, I was so excited and proud and then I got into the office in January and....I got impeached by the end of March."

"What? Why would--"

"I was eighteen and kind of an idiot like all eighteen year olds and I blew the city budget on an impractical plan and..." Ben trails off. "You now what? It doesn't matter right now. What matters is this," he looks around, his face filled with awe. "This is...incredible. I can't believe you did all this in less than twenty-four hours. How did you--"

"I had help," she tells him. "And also, I already knew how to do a lot of it, of course not on this scale, but then I just _AltaVistaed_ how to do the rest."

Ben makes a face at her words. "Can I show you _Google_ sometime? I don't understand how this town..." he trails off, shaking his head. "Never mind. It's fine," although, he kind of shakes his head again like it's not fine, but moves on anyway, "But this, this is all just amazing. I also came by to see if I could help, but--"

"You can help," she tells him quickly, unable to stay angry at him any longer. He filed an official permit for her, after all. Ben cares and he's here and he wants to help. Maybe concentrating really hard about how yesterday's disappointing events weren't really happening last night did change things?

"Yeah?" He's smiling fully now. "What can I do?"

"Do you want to help me hang the twinkly lights around the rink?" She holds up a jumbled strand of exactly 999 little white lights.

"This ice skating rink here? With those lights?"

"Yes," she confirms as she reaches out to grab his hand with her one free one. "Help me create something wonderful and cheerful here. For Pawnee."

"I could do that."

Minutes later, they're both grinning and laughing as they untangle the cords, when a no-nonsense  "Rum ball?" interrupts their task.

When they turn around to look, Marlene is standing there with a mound full of delicious cookies all spread out on one of Ann's big red serving platters.

"Um, okay," Ben reaches out and takes one tentatively, while Leslie eagerly grabs about four.

"Save some for the festival, Leslie," Marlene chides lightly, but with a smile.

"You helped me make six dozen last night, it'll be okay! Besides, there are also fudge squares and glazed sugar cookies and all the gingerbread people lined up over there," she points to an arrangement of about twenty three-foot high gingerbread people.

Sure, she had envisioned big human-size ones, but with the largest oven she could find access to being the one at JJ's Diner, they had wound up with three foot tall elf-size gingerbread versions. They're still delicious though.

Apparently, if you order two plates of waffles every day for over a week, JJ will let you use his oven overnight during a Winter Festival emergency. Yeah. Pawnee _is_ special, she thinks.

After Marlene walks away, taking the plate of cookies with her (much to Leslie's disappointment), Ben turns to her, clearly confused. "Wait. You're telling me that you and the _Iron Cock-Shredder of Pawnee_ baked cookies together last night?"

Now it's Leslie's turn to look confused. "She does what to roosters?"

* * * * * * *

The rest of the afternoon and evening passes like some kind of hazy, happy montage out of a romantic holiday film...maybe with a jazzy, sexy version of _Winter Wonderland_ playing in the background while Ben and Leslie sip hot cocoa, take a sleigh ride around the lot while snuggled under plaid blankets, and each start at one side of a gingerbread lady cookie and nibble until they meet in the middle for an almost-kiss.

They go ice skating under the moonlight and laugh and hug to keep each other from falling, all while a light dusting of snow makes everything look magical.

So at eleven o'clock, it's only logical to take Ben's hand and walk with him to his house. And when they end up in his room, because April and Andy could be home any minute and that would just _be incredibly uncomfortable and weird_ , she's still smiling. Especially since one of the first things that happens when they do get inside his house, is that she and Ben kiss just inside the front door.

It started with him grinning at her while she leaned against the door and then he just kept getting closer until his lips softly brushed against hers, carefully, like he wasn't quite sure if it was just him that wanted to do that.

It wasn't just him.

Leslie opened her mouth like they do in the romance novels and Ben had moaned lightly (also like in Mrs. Claus's books), as his hands tugged at her hips and hers winded through his hair. The excited butterflies flitted around her stomach again and he was so warm against her, as he paused lightly to place little kisses along her chin and then nuzzle into her neck. It almost made her dizzy with desire.

The next time it happens, they're lying on his bed, Leslie's hip resting against one of his. One of the straps from her jumper has come unhooked and she doesn't even care. Not when they're lazily kissing and rubbing against one another and it's honestly even better than she thought it would be. Like, how do people even do anything else?

When she pulls back for a quick break, Leslie is smiling at him. Like a huge, beaming smile that she can hardly contain.

"Wow, this is really nice."

Ben laughs. "It is," he says, his palm making a lazy, seductive pattern across her back, sweeping down further and further until he starts to inch up the back of her green turtleneck. "Again, sorry I was grumpy yesterday. I was having a bad day and sometimes talking about ice skating rinks makes me upset--"

"That's okay," she tells him. "Are you feeling better now? Do you want to sing? That might make you feel happier. But also? The kissing! Wow! I like it! I mean, books and movies don't really do it justice. You know, the full effect with the lying down and body parts pressing into...each other."

"Oh, I don't really sing...wait." Ben looks a bit bewildered as he sits up a bit. "Back up. What do you mean? About the kissing?"

"Just that it's awesome. I fully understand mistletoe's popularity now. We should definitely keep--"

Ben continues to look surprised. "Are you saying that you've...never kissed anyone before?"

"Well…not technically, no. This was my first kiss. Well, out there against the door was my first kiss. It was excellent. You're very good at it, by the way. And these in here have all been like awesome, bonus kisses."

When he still looks confused, she adds, "Elves, it turns out, are not really into tall girls. I mean, over the years, there's been a few almost-kisses, but generally, the straight ones are into cute, elf-sized girls who are much better at making toys and baking than I am."

"That's crazy. I've only known you for a week and a half, but you're amazing at baking. Those reindeer cookies were delicious. And creating a winter carnival completely overnight? Leslie, that was incredible."

She feels herself blush a bit at his compliment.

"It was pretty good...but nothing like what a real elf could do," she says wistfully. She wiggles her fingers at him. "No Christmas magic."

"I thought Christmas magic was in your heart?"

"Oh that's Christmas cheer, and it is, but the elves have real, actual make-stuff-happen magic. In their fingers," she wiggles her digits again. "See? Nothing here but big, clumsy human fingers."

Ben smiles and then makes a face like he had forgotten about something and just now remembered its importance. Crap. Is she about to be candy cane blocked? By herself?

"So, uh, besides the kissing, have you never, um, done other things that...um. I mean. What I'm trying to ask, is, um..." Ben trails off staring at her, nodding his head and making a face like she knows exactly what he's trying to ask and really, she does have a pretty good idea. Nope. No one has ever put tinsel on her tree.

"Have I ever felt the heat of an aroused man between my open thighs?" She finishes for him, as Ben's eyes widen at her words. "Nope."

"Huh. Alright. Wow. That's uh, very descriptive."

"Sorry, yeah. That seems to shock everyone down here. I read that in one of Mrs. Claus's romance novels once. I mean she reads them, she doesn't write them."

"So, you've never had sex before...alright. I mean, that's fine. Of course it's fine. It's great! Good for you," he says, sliding his arm off her back and using it to instead chastely pat her on the arm lightly and _uh-oh_.

"Ben, I--"

"Yep. This is not a big deal. Not at all. Dating a virgin from the North Pole who was raised by Christmas elves is completely normal. It's very festive this time of year," Ben says in a completely flustered way that makes Leslie think it's really not.

She should probably just tell him that she in no way wants it to be a big deal. In fact, she's about five minutes away from tearing her clothes off and getting this whole thing started, with or without him.

No. That's not true.

She definitely wants Ben to be on board with it. But, with this new information about her current _tinsel-less_ state, he's wound up tighter than a workshop elf on toy inspection day.

Leslie sighs and gives him what she hopes is a reassuring look.

"Ben, it's not like I'm not ready to feel the heat of an aroused man between my open thighs. Believe me, I am. I want this. I want you. Right now. And also, just so you know, I'm not completely naive or anything. One of the first toys I did manage to build in the workshop was a vibrator. After hours, when everyone else was gone for the day. It has three speeds. So, it's not like I've never had an orgasm before." Leslie watches as Ben's eyes widen and then he starts laughing.

"You built your own vibrator?" He manages to get out, as he's clearly incredibly amused by her confession.

"Yes. The workshop has really great equipment."

"In Santa's workshop? You made a vibrator? From scratch? With like, batteries and wires and stuff?"

She nods and pretty soon they're both giggling and Ben is back to holding her close and pushing into her in that way that makes her stomach drop and her face feel all flushed, like that one time she drank some of Papa Elf's special eggnog.

"That is really impressive. And really hot. _Good lord_. You built yourself a vibrator." His face is still full of amusement, but also something else now. And when she wiggles a bit closer, she can feel him where the front of his pants are getting all tight.

"It's also very cute," she tells him between giggles. "It looks like a peppermint stick, with the red and white stripes around it."

"Oh my god. Of course it does."

"But Ben, now it's really time for me to feel the heat of--"

"Okay, I get it. But are you sure? I mean, we've only known each other for a little over a week and we don't have to rush this. We can definitely slow this down, I don't--"

"I don't want to slow this down. I want to speed it up and feel the heat--"

"Alright, alright," he interrupts her before she can again stress how much she wants this. "But, can I just make one request?"

"Sure," Leslie agrees tentatively. She hopes he's not into something weird. Or, that he doesn't have a jar on a...lower shelf that he wants her to reach. God, that would be so disappointing.

Ben gives her an apologetic smile and says, "Please stop saying, the _heat of an aroused man between my open thighs_. It's kind of weirding me out. Sorry."

Leslie grins. "I can do that. Okay, well, then...let's put the bells on my shoes."

He nods and moves in for a kiss. "I can work with that one."

"Good. Oh wait. Wait."

"What?" He stops, looking just a bit wound up again. "It's okay. Really. We don't have to--"

"No. No. NO! We are doing _that_ , just, maybe don't actually rip my clothes off." Sure, it seems kind of sexy in the books, but this is her only red jumper and green turtleneck. And the tights she can only get at the North Pole, so she kind of wants to have her elf outfit stay intact.

"Um...why would I...oh, right. Romance novels. Okay. No, I'll just maybe tug them down. Like this," Ben demonstrates by unhooking the other jumper strap and pushing it down, sliding his hands around her waist and slowly taking the hem of the turtleneck up as he goes. His hands are a little chilly as they slide around her back at first and it makes her squirm just a bit, but then Ben's kissing her again and everything is just perfect.

They move around on his bed, making out and laughing and soon she ends up on top, in just her tights and turtleneck. In this time, Leslie has managed to get about three of Ben's shirt buttons undone and his pants halfway unzipped, and holy crap, the man does not seem to be in any sort of a rush to do this at all.

It's when the weight of Ben's hands settle wonderfully on her butt, stroking her through the thin tights and her underwear, that she remembers Ann's words and can't help impatiently blurting out, "Can I see your your penis now?"


	7. Operation Candy Cane (Part II)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I went ahead and changed this to explicit. Hopefully, no one minds the rating update!

Getting Ben's pants off is not quite as easy as her beautiful friend had lead her to believe it would be.

He's a little coy, opting instead to get her _slowly_ and completely naked first, pausing to kiss practically every patch of skin as he bares it. It feels wonderful, but instead of making Leslie more relaxed, it just makes the anticipation grow until her stomach practically drops with every touch.

Finally, his boxers get slid down his legs and...it definitely seems different, seeing one up close and right in front of her, since the only other one she's seen before was on a screen, as an attached image in Sewage Joe's perverted message to all the elves in the workshop. Oh, wait, and also Councilman Howser's in person just last week.

But this one is... _special._ This one is Ben's.

Leslie decides to just follow Ann's sage advice. She reaches forward assertively, wraps her palm around it, and smiles when Ben moans.

"Uh…" But then Leslie looks at him again and then back down to her hand and more specifically what's currently in her hand. "I'm sorry, she just said to _grab onto it and have fun_...but I have no idea what I'm supposed to do with it."

Ben makes a noise that sounds kind of like a strangled laugh and groan, before putting his hand around hers and slowly showing her how to touch him, how to slide her hand up and then back down towards the base. He's so hard but the skin is so soft...almost like velvet.

"Oh? Like that?"

Ben nods but after a few strokes of her palm along his skin, slowly pulls her hand off him. He smiles and readjusts them so that Leslie is the one lying down. 

"What's happening?"

"Nothing, just getting you comfy," he tells her.

"Didn't you like--"

"I really did, but right now, I'd much rather find out what you like."

"Oh. I like…cake. And waffles. Gingerbread with chocolate sauce. Oh and those little marzipan pigs that..." she trails off as she notices his confused face. "Sorry, you probably don't mean food. I think I'm a little nervous."

"It's okay. I'm a little nervous too," Ben admits, still grinning as he lies down next to her on his side and in this position, she can feel him straining against her hip, but he doesn't seem like he's trying to rush anything. "I really want you to enjoy this."

"I want that too. I am enjoying it. But shouldn't that," she pauses to stare at him again, "be going somewhere? Like between my open..." Leslie frowns, remembering to not use the phrase that seemed to make him uncomfortable earlier. "Shoes?"

He grins as he starts touching her. "Eventually. Are you sure that--"

"Ben, seriously, are you going to keep asking me that?" It's sweet and all and she definitely appreciates his concern, but they really need to just do this.

"Um," Ben stares at her. "Maybe? Sorry, sorry. I've just...never taken anyone's virginity before. And--"

"You're not taking anything! And I'm not giving anything away, either. We're just--"

"Putting the bells on your shoes?" Ben finishes.

Leslie smiles and confirms his question with an enthusiastic, "Yes."

"You're brand new shoes. Alright," he leans closer and kisses her. "I like bells. Wait...am I the bells?"

Leslie laughs and nods through the kiss, saying, "yeah, I think you would be the bells in this scenario. I'm the shoes," against his lips.

She's still giggling when he kisses her again, after telling her that he _really likes her shoes_ , trailing down her neck and to her breasts, taking one nipple and then the other between his lips. The sensations are making her feel all squirmy and warm and excited, like she can't wait for something else to happen--she just doesn't know what it is exactly.

And also? Her DIY vibrator might have three speeds, but when Ben starts working his tongue between her legs, it's a whole new level of _mmmmhmmm_. She had no idea a mouth could feel like that or that an orgasm in front of another person could be so...amazing.

When he works his way back up her body, he keeps going and for a moment she gets really confused, (is he leaving?) but then Ben leans over her, opens a drawer in his bedside table, and starts digging around for something.

"What are you--"

"I just need to grab a...oh my god," he snorts. "This is perfect."

"What?" Leslie asks again, craning her neck to watch as Ben pulls something out of the drawer and rips the small package open.

Hey eyes widen. "Is that a--"

"Ridiculous condom with a Christmas tree design on it? Yes. My brother gave me holiday-themed ones last year as a joke and...well, this seems like a great occasion for..." he pauses to look at her. "I mean, if you're still sure that--"

"Oh my god. Ben. I'm--"

"Sorry. Last time. Promise. We're doing this."

"We're so doing this," she adds, watching him as he gets the _personal wrapping paper_ out of the packaging and unrolls it down over himself and...well. That looks festive. Like a candy cane disguised as a Christmas tree.

It takes a little adjusting as Ben settles between her legs once more and just as she starts getting a little nervous again, he lowers his mouth to hers and yep, she still really likes kissing.

His fingers move down, sliding one inside easily and she's so wet that he has no trouble working a second finger into her as he kisses her neck. Then his hand is up by her hip and even though it's a bit nerve wracking, the not knowing exactly how it's supposed to feel when it actually happens, she tries to relax into it and just focus on his mouth and the wonderful weight of him on top of her, even as he's all hard and pressing against her inner thigh.

"Okay, so, here we go," Ben says softly and she can feel _really_ him now, starting to push inside and it doesn't exactly hurt, it's just kind of strange. He's definitely bigger than her vibrator....and not vibrating. And attached to another person.

"Just try to relax. Breathe," he whispers and then he's kissing her neck again, the side of her face, her mouth, anywhere his lips can reach, all while keeping a very deliberate and steady pace as he slowly eases himself into her.

She can feel his palm on the back of her thigh, encouraging her to wrap her legs around him and Leslie tries to breathe like they do on Ann's yoga DVD that she put in accidentally a couple of days ago and when she exhales, she feels Ben finally fill her completely, their bodies pressed tightly together. Her hips shift up a bit and he gets even deeper and, wow, okay that is nothing like her peppermint stick.

"Oh."

"Oh good? Or, oh bad. Is this okay?" he's supporting himself on his hands now, not moving but looking down and studying her carefully.

"Oh, _interesting_. Good," she gets out. "It's good."

"Oh, thank god," Ben says, and then he's moving slowly, still obviously letting her get used to it all. His hips gradually pick up speed and depth and pretty soon it's all Leslie can do to gasp with each thrust, each push of his body against hers.

Ben rolls them onto their sides, slipping out momentarily, but then he's guiding her leg up over his hip and sinking back inside again and this time, she feels ready for him, all stretched and warm, her thighs wet as Ben's hand slides down through her curls and... _oh_.

"Do you like--"

"Yes. I like this," she tells him before he even finishes his question, watching as he smiles and then groans. Her instinct it to snuggle closer to him and move her own hips in a sort of tentative, unsure rhythm. Ben most notice, because soon he's guiding her to get up on top of him, his hands on her hips, showing her how to move until she kind of figures out what she's doing.

Everything feels even wetter and more intense like this as they do this thing together and now, after getting a little used to it, Leslie feels like Ben fits inside her perfectly. Like they fit each other perfectly.

 * * * * * * * *

It's seven in the morning and Leslie has already decorated his bedroom with a small tabletop tree and a delicate collection of paper snowflakes hanging down from the ceiling. And while they've hardly even left his room in the past three days (although, she did manage to meet Ann at JJ's yesterday for lunch), there have been a few missions out to the kitchen and living room for food and an extension cord--for the set of multi-colored Christmas lights she wanted to hang above his bed.

April and Andy had seemed a little surprised to see her there at first, but it wasn't quite as awkward as Ben had acted like it would be.

Andy was the most bewildered that first morning, when they had slipped out of his room holding hands, but Ben's roommate had eventually recovered, even holding his hand up for a high-five, while Ben had made a face, shook his head, and said, "nope." So, Leslie had let go of Ben and slapped her palm against Andy's instead.

The owner of her most favorite candy cane had just blushed and looked a little flustered beside her, while April declared the situation, "gross," and added that, "nobody wants to know about your _yule log_ , Ben," and left the kitchen before Leslie could even correct her and say that, yes, she had definitely wanted to know about Ben's yule log. And that it was awesome.

But this morning, Ben is still asleep even though she keeps trying to talk to him about very important things.

"Holidays are magical. And not just the big ones. Any day can be a holiday," she tells him, sitting down on the edge of his bed and pulling the covers down to his mid-back to reveal a faded, black t-shirt.

" _Hrrrrmpphh_ ," Ben manages to get out, turning his head towards her. But he's also smiling, so Leslie's pretty sure he doesn't mind being woken up all that much.

"We've only known each other a little more than a week and we already have six holidays," she says.

That gets his attention. He opens his eyes and squints at her, half of his face kind of smooshed into the pillow and his hair all sticking up. "We do?"

"Yes, but don't get too cocky, Ann already has eight! Ours are _Butt Day_ , that was the first day I saw your butt, _Mural Day_ , when we sat and ate burgers under the wildflower mural, _Winter Festival Day_ , when you realized you were wrong about wanting to cancel the festival and you helped me with the ice skating rink."

Ben looks like he's trying not to laugh, his face all relaxed and amused while she explains everything to him.

"Then there's _Mistletoe Day_ , when we kissed under all the mistletoe that I hung up in your room," Leslie says, with a sly glance towards the couple of mistletoe sprigs she had hung at waist-height, "and after last night... _Peppermint Stick Day_ ," she says last with a wink.

Ben finally laughs out right, sitting up a bit. "Oh, I really like those last two. But that's only five. And..." he trails off as he looks around, "And I see you've made my room more holiday-ish."

"I have!" Leslie agrees. "Today, I thought we could go out for breakfast and have our first _Waffle Day_! Have you been to JJ's Diner for waffles? They're amazing. Like golden crispy pillows for your mouth. And then, well, I have a schedule of things for us to do later: make snow angels, eat cookie dough, and then snuggle without pants."

He's grabs onto her hand gently and starts tugging her back down and into bed, saying, "That sounds like a fun day. But maybe we can start with the snuggling first. Oh, and I think I've got an idea for another holiday. I'm thinking we can call it _New Position Day_."

She quirks an eyebrow at him. "A new position? You mean there's more?"

He nods seductively and holds out the covers for her.

"Should I leave my hat on again this time?" She asks, slipping her boots off and lying down next to him.

Ben grins. "Yeah, babe. Leave it on."


	8. Leslie and Ben (and Pawnee) Save Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you SO MUCH for all of the comments and kudos. You all make me so happy! :)
> 
> This has been so fun!
> 
> One chapter left...hopefully up tomorrow!!

He's smiling.

Ben is in the shower, rinsing his hair and he's actually grinning like an idiot for no apparent reason. Oh wait, that's quite not right, the reason is named Leslie and right now, Ben figures she's probably in his bedroom knitting Christmas stockings for everyone in the house or something equally festive. And if he tries to analyze everything, it makes no sense to him at all, but he just...likes her. Really, really likes her.

The holidays have never been a big deal to Ben, not since he was a kid and for the last fifteen or so years, it's been easier to just treat it as any other time of year.

Sure, he sends cards out to friends and family and if he's dating someone they'll exchange presents and drink egg nog and have sexy holiday times, but he's never really been that excited about it. Previously, if he'd been on the road, Ben had generally been content to just get some Chinese take-out and rewatch an old favorite, non-holiday movie in his motel room.

But this year, this first Christmas in his new home in Pawnee is... _special_. Leslie is making it joyous and special and exciting and he's hardly even thought about Icetown at all in the last week. And it makes absolutely no sense.

Leslie probably doesn't have a drivers license and there's a chance that she's not even in the country legally, but right now, on Christmas Eve morning, Ben just doesn't care. There's maybe even a small chance that she's making all of this Elf stuff up and has some sort of delusion or something, but, he's not even going to entertain that thought right now--besides, he's seen what she can do and how much sugar she eats, and it all does make a certain amount of sense.

Right. So now, he's just going to be happy and finish up in the shower, and then go make pancakes with his new awesome girlfriend, who quite possibly was raised by elves and seems to really like doing it reindeer-style. And also seems to always have jelly packets hidden up her sleeves....which should be weird, but instead he finds it adorable.

Fuck, Ben thinks, closing his eyes against the warm shower spray. He really likes reindeer-style too.

As he thinks about that, Ben begins happily humming and then before he knows it, he's singing softly. " _Dashing through the snow, on a one horse open sleigh, o'er the fields we go, laughing all the way_ \--"

" _Ha-ha-ha!_ " Leslie sings suddenly from inside the bathroom with him, pulling back the shower curtain quickly, as she carries on, " _Bells on bob tail ring, making spirits bright, what fun it is to laugh and sing, a sleighing song tonight_..."

Ben jumps at the sudden intrusion, but manages not to scream out in surprise as his new girlfriend serenades him.

"You were singing!" She tells him, eyes glancing from his face and then down...lower.

"I was," he agrees, trying not to laugh at her not so sneaky checking out of the goods.

She nods, looking at his face again and then says, "The best way to spread Christmas cheer, is singing loud for all to hear."

"I'll remember that."

"Good. It's in the Code of the Elves and everything," she responds seriously. "Number one: treat every day like Christmas. Number two: there's room for everyone on the Nice list. And, number three: the best way to spread Christmas Cheer is singing loud for all to hear. Also, you're naked."

"Makes showering easier. Speaking of," he pauses to give her a smile, "you should either get in here with me or close the curtain. You're letting all the heat out."

Her grin practically lights up the whole bathroom. "I choose in. Just let me...get naked too," Leslie says, and then closes the curtain quickly, while she gets her clothes off.

Ben's smiling again and of course, this whole situation still seems so odd to him, but at the same time, since Leslie has come into his life, he's felt lighter and happier than he has in ages. And now a beautiful woman is getting naked and about to get into the shower with him, so he's really okay with everything, this wonderful morning of December 24th.

She pulls the curtain back one more time and then delicately steps into the tub.

"Oh, hi there."

"Hi," Leslie says, also putting a hand on his butt by way of official greeting.

There are a few kisses, as Ben tugs her hips towards his and turns them so he's covering her from a lot of the direct shower spray.

"So, what should I call this," she asks, letting her eyes drift down just a bit one more time, as she teases the skin of his lower belly with her fingertips, going lower and lower with each pass.

"I thought it was a candy cane?" Ben teases.

"No. It's a penis," she responds thoughtfully. "But what else is it called here?"

Ben makes a face.

"Um, a dick?" he says, starting to feel a little awkward about this whole conversational turn. "Cock. Johnson. You know, I'm really fine with candy--"

"Johnson?" She asks, looking puzzled.

Soon, they're both laughing, Leslie now wet too as Ben kisses along her shoulder just as she pulls back to give him a look. " _Ohhhh_. I get that now."

"What?"

"The Iron Cock Shredder of Pawnee. But..." Ben watches as her forehead crinkles once again. "Okay, wait a minute. Nope. I still don't think I get that."

* * * * * * * *

They decide to take the day kind of easy. At least in terms of how Leslie usually spends her Christmas Eves.

Normally, this day is super busy at the North Pole, Leslie tells him, and she thinks it will be kind of nice to not spend the day frantically double and triple checking lists, helping calibrate the sleigh's engine, and loading up all the toys in the magical, bottomless bag. Of course, there's something in the way she smiles and talks animatedly about all of that, that makes Ben think that she does really enjoy the busy craziness of it all.

But instead, after making Christmas cookies, watching _It's a Wonderful Life_ with April, Andy, and even Champion out in the living room, and slipping into Ben's room for a nooner (well, more like a _later-afternooner_ ), they decide on dinner at JJ's Diner followed by a walk in the park.

It's just as they're walking on the trail, hand in hand and debating the best holiday candy (gumdrops are kind of gross, Ben admits, causing Leslie to give him an impassioned speech in their defense), when something flies by them lowly, coming to rest sloppily a few feet ahead, all while there are yells of "No Dasher! No Blitzen! Oh crap on a carrot stick, Donner!"

"What was--"

"Oh my god! The sleigh!" Leslie yells and starts sprinting towards the crash site. She's still holding Ben's hand, so he goes too, as they run past trees and a bench or two to see... _what_?

"Back off, raccoons!" A large man in a Santa suit yells at them as he and Leslie come to a stop just a couple of feet away.

"Santa, it's me!"

The older, grey bearded man squints. "Leslie?"

Ben makes a face, finally seeing everything and taking it all in--the sleigh, the reindeers, Santa Claus...good lord. "Um, what is happening right now?"

"Ben! This is Santa! Santa, this is Ben," she says by way of introductions. "Ben and I have been making out a lot lately and he has an excellent candy cane," Leslie adds to St. Nick.

* * * * * * * *

It turns out, Leslie's adopted father, Papa Elf she had called him, calibrated the _Kringle 3000_ , the 500-reindeer power jet turbine engine all wrong, since Leslie wasn't there to help him this year. Which seems like a huge deal to Ben, but both Leslie and Santa thought it could be fixed.

His girlfriend had stayed behind to assist with the engine, and he had been tasked with finding help...finding Christmas cheer. Apparently, in the old days, that alone was enough to keep the sleigh airborne. Today? Not so much.

Today, the Kringle 3000 did most the work. Unless, Papa Elf had screwed it up...which apparently he had.

When Ben runs towards the park's entrance (to do what, he's not quite sure yet), there's already a small crowd gathering, including the local news. He gently pushes his way towards it all to see Perd standing there about to give a live report.

"I'm Perd Hapley of Channel Four Eyewitness News and the story of this evening is happening right behind me. And that story, is that an unidentified object has crashed in Ramsett Park. We do not know what it is yet. Because...it has not been identified.

"For a bystander perspective of what happened, we turn to a bystander. Herman Lerpiss, who saw everything happen," Perd turns towards the scary looking tattooed man that Ben recognizes from the Pawnee Pawn Shop. "For our viewers who are watching, what happened, Herman?"

The other man shrugs and points, "Something crashed over there."

"Interesting," Perd comments. "If you had to guess at what is was, what would your guess--"

"I know what it was! Santa Baby and his sleigh crashed--I saw the whole thing as it went down over there," Jean-Ralphio Saperstein says, pointing into the trees where Ben had just came from, as he walks towards Perd's microphone. Jean-Ralphio crowds Herman out of the way, who just shrugs again and steps to the side. "And look what I have? All the _tails_ on who has been nice and who has been...naughty. Naughty. Naughty. _Nauuuggghhhty_ ," he says, singing the last word.

"That's the Naughty and Nice list?" Tom Haverford asks from the gathered crowd.

"You know it, player. It fell right out of the sleigh and I picked it up. Let's see what Tommy T wants under his tree this year," Jean-Ralphio starts flipping through pages

"That does look like a large book and it does say, Naughty and Nice on the cover, just like you would expect to see on Santa's Naughty and Nice list," Perd comments to the camera, looking over the tome in Jean-Ralphio's hands.

"Here it is. Tommy Haverford wants a cashmere scarf, a Brooks Brothers Pinpoint Cotton Forward Point Dress Shirt, boys size 16, and a scarlet Hermes tie."

Tom nods. "That is one-hundred percent what I am expecting under my sparkle-tree this year."

"Baller list," Jean-Ralphio agrees as Ben continues to take in the scene and frown.

Jean-Ralphio flips through the book some more. "Oh, here's one. Ron Swanson. Bacon. And nails," he says, and then pauses to nod slowly. "I like it. Simple and to the point."

As Ben continues to watch, he thinks that this all is exactly the opposite of what needs to be happening. This is not at all Christmas spirit, this is Jean-Ralphio being weird and letting everyone know Tom Haverford's extravagant and impractical wish list and Ron Swanson's fairly straightforward one.

Ben sighs and tries to figure out what he should do. What Leslie needs him to do.

"If that is really Santa's list," says a woman who Ben recognizes from his weekly lunches with Chris at Sue's Salads, "then you shouldn't be snooping in it. You'll get yourself on the Naughty List then and Krampus will come for you, kidnap you, and beat you with sticks."

"Hold up, hold up, salad lady," Jean-Ralphio doesn't close the book, but turns his attention to the woman. "Tell me more about this Krampus situation," he says, raising an eyebrow in interest.

Alright, _think Wyatt_ , Ben orders himself. The sleigh needs to run on Holiday Spirit and Christmas Cheer and Santa needs a lot of it, like a jump for the sleigh and...oh _fuck_.

He knows what he has to do.

Ben slowly and a bit shakily walks towards a park bench, steps up on the seat, and turns to face towards the crowd.

What should he even sing? His repertoire of Christmas songs is a bit lacking. He knows most of _Jingle Bells_ , of course, but now, that song will forever remind him of that first night with Leslie, of how she had looked at him with wide eyes and a nervous smile, when he had first started pushing inside her...so that seems wildly inappropriate to sing for a crowd.

He knows the words to _Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer_ , from his time listening to the Doctor Demento Christmas record with his brother while growing up, but that too, seems a little not quite right for the occasion.

Finally, the song comes to him and he mostly even knows the words.

" _You better watch out, you better not cry_ ," he starts, and of course it's way to soft for anyone to hear. Ben groans inwardly and then tries again--this time, increasing the volume so that everyone can hear.

" _You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I'm telling you why, Santa Claus is comin' to town_..."

Now, everyone is staring at him and he kind of wants to die from embarrassment, but then he thinks about Leslie and how she's depending on him, and on how much he really, really wants to make her happy and proud of him and do this thing for her, and then his voice gets even louder.

" _He's making a list, he's checking it twice, he's gonna find out who's naughty or nice, Santa Claus is comin' to town_..."

This time, Chris, Andy, and Ann have joined in on the chorus, making Ben not feel so awkward and alone, and by the time he gets to the part where Santa sees you when you're sleeping, practically the whole town has joined in, Jean-Ralphio even adding a strange little chanting section during the chorus.

They all kind of collectively forget what the next verse is, so everyone just starts over at the beginning, singing loud and clear for all to hear. Ben smiles and continues to add his voice to the group, while the whole of Pawnee it seems, is gathered at the entrance to Ramsett Park, trying to save Christmas. His weird, strange, raccoon-overrun, but special new home.

And the thing is...it works.

They hear a loud noise, a clattering of bells, and a sleigh in the distance, now off the ground and flying towards them.

Ben steps down off the bench and walks into the crowd, mouth slightly open even though he's already seen the sleigh up close.

"But," Ann says, looking over at the heavy book in Jean-Ralphio's hands and then up at the fast approaching, but still low-flying sleigh. "Doesn't Santa need his list? So he knows who gets what?"

"They're flying at least ten feet off the ground in a sleigh, how do we--"

"I'll do it. I can try."

Everyone turns around at the new voice.

"Pistol Pete Disellio?"

"Give it to me. I can...maybe do this," the ex-high school basketball star says.

Ben had just watched Pistol Pete's last-second dunk in 1992, at a basketball game against Eagleton High last month when it replayed on cable access for like the billionth time. So, yeah, he thinks, Pistol Pete can maybe do this.

"Good luck, son," Ron adds, patting the man on the back, as Pete takes a running start at the approaching sleigh, jumps up, and manages to dunk the Naughty and Nice List right over the edge as the sleigh zooms by, gaining height and speed.

He then slips on the ice when he lands, yelling out in pain, while half of Pawnee's residents cheer at saving Christmas and some rush to Pistol Pete's side.

Ben, however, neither cheers in celebration nor rushes to the injured basketball star's side right away. Instead, he just watches, still slightly perplexed and amazed, as the goofball of a woman that he's pretty sure he's falling in love with waves at him from the sleigh and disappears quickly into the night.

* * * * * * * *

  
_And so, with a little help, Leslie and Ben manage to save Christmas and their Holiday Cheer brightened a lot of people's holiday that night, too.  But not Pistol Pete...his leg was pretty much broken in two places._


	9. Epilogue

It's almost five in the morning when she steps into Ben's bedroom and shuts the door quietly behind her.

It takes Leslie's eyes a minute to adjust to the lack of light, but then she sees him, all bundled under the covers and turned on his side. All of the paper snowflakes are hanging from his ceiling and the twinkling lights above his bed are turned off, but still there.

She walks over quietly, puts his present down on the floor next to the bed, and studies his sleeping face where it's all scrunched into the pillow. He looks like a sexy, napping, and heroic porcupine with messy hair and cute little paws sticking up out of the covers after completing an important task.

"You came back," a groggy Ben tells her seconds later, as she starts to unhook the red jumper and tug her tights down.

Leslie pulls the turtleneck over her head next and gets into bed with Ben in just her underwear, snuggling closer to him to get warm. To his credit, he doesn't move away from her chilly skin, but wraps his arms around her and shares his body heat eagerly.

"Of course I came back. Did you think I was going back to the North Pole?"

He seems to consider this. "Well, I did see you fly overhead in a sleigh. So...maybe?"

Leslie frowns. Sure, for a brief second she had _perhaps_ thought about going back to the North Pole, but not really. That's definitely not her home anymore and she has so much here in Pawnee. She has Ann and Ben and Marlene...and JJ's waffles. She has her new life.

"I was just helping, I was always coming back, I left my bag here. I even waved to you!" She tells him, putting her head on his shoulder as his palm comes to rest against her stomach.

"Honestly, I wasn't sure if that was a _goodbye_ wave or a _see you in a bit_ wave. I'm really glad you came back. But, how did you get in?"

"Down the chimney. Santa showed me how."

"Alright," Ben responds, sounding amused.

"Speaking of, I have something for you." Leslie sits up quickly, leans down and over the edge of the floor, and grabs the item she had put down when she first came into Ben's room. His hand is resting on her butt now, probably half because he likes touching her butt and half so that he can grab onto her if she starts to fall out of bed.

When she comes back up, she puts something on his lap.

Ben plugs in the holiday lights and sits up, as his eyes widen when he sees his present. "Oh my god, this is...the Millennium Falcon model I always wanted!"

"Yes. It's from Santa. As a thank you for your Christmas cheer tonight. You can open the presents from me later. After we get out of bed."

Plus, his Christmas presents are hidden all over the house...really well, too. He'd never be able to find them. Unlike his presents to her (a couple of jars of gourmet jam, a pair of flannel pajamas, and a sterling silver waffle charm on a delicate silver chain), which he did not hide nearly as well.

And sure, it's _slightly_ naughty to try to find your Christmas presents early, but Ben just made it so easy. He's really not that sneaky at hiding Christmas presents.

"This is incredible but...how did...?"

Leslie gives him a look. "He's Santa Claus, Ben. He knows everything,"

"But..." Ben trails off, looking confused. "I asked for this when I was a little kid. But, then I never got--"

"You didn't get it because you flushed Henry's report on the Louisiana Purchase down the toilet that year and then lied about it. Yeah. I heard about that too," she grins, but still manages to make a _tsk-tsking_ noise at him.

He looks surprised again. "I...wait...seriously, how did you know that?"

"Like I said, Santa told me. And he also said that you deserve a Millennium Falcon this year and that you are definitely on the nice list. So, you don't have to worry about _you-know-who_ coming for you instead."

Ben seems to accept this explanation finally, because he gives her a sleepy smile and then a quick kiss. "I'm really glad you decided to come to here. I know that starting over can be kind of difficult and challenging, but....well, I'm glad you traveled through the chocolate bark forest and the sea of swirly-twirly gumdrops, all the way to Pawnee."

Now it's Leslie's turn to look surprised and also impressed. "You remembered the names."

"Yeah. I got it right this time."

When she smiles, she also yawns, putting her hand over her mouth at the last minute so she doesn't assault him with _up all night and helping Santa deliver presents, while also binging on plates of cookies and glasses of milk_ breath.

"Let's go to sleep," he tells her, carefully putting the Millennium Falcon on the bedside table and then pulling Leslie further down under the covers. He leaves the twinkling lights on so it looks like they're lying under the stars.

"But don't you want to play with your new toy?"

He laughs. "I think I can wait a bit. Besides, I didn't sleep a lot last night either. I was too busy thinking and worrying about this amazing and cute Elf lady who I was hoping would come back to me for Christmas."

"That's me, right?" She asks, only a little bit serious.

"Yes, that's you. And you did. Merry Christmas."

"Mmmmm, Merry Christmas. You were so amazing tonight, how you spread Christmas cheer. Okay, let's nap and then open presents and then make snowmen and then come back inside for hot cocoa..." she trails off, as Ben gets settled again, his palm rubbing lazily against her tummy and his warm comfortable bed making her even more sleepy. "And then we can sing...chestnuts roasting...fire. Eggnog and sugar plums and mistletoe mittens and candy cane hats..." she mumbles, before drifting off completely.

Leslie wakes up once (well, she's kind of awake, but really, it's probably more like sleep-talking) to briefly describe her plan for designing stylish reindeer snow boots to Ben, but he just cuddles into her until she falls back to sleep, incredibly happy and content to finally be where she truly belongs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this ridiculous tale! :)
> 
> I have loved all your comments and kudos and you are all the best!!!

**Author's Note:**

> [Smutty bonus chapter here!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5729020/chapters/13201117)


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